I would describe myself as a self-reliant, independent female. I would also say that, whether naively or luckily, I have had minimal experience with inappropriate comments or advances. But I have felt the lash of insinuation proposing that I am a ‘helpless female’. While I firmly believe that everyone needs help at some point, and you should help people when you can, the idea that I am not capable of doing something for myself simply because I am female has always felt demeaning to me.
One incident I still remember today was when I was a young adult living at home with my dad. I was working two jobs but needed to take my car in for service. My dad worked nights, so he offered to drop off my car while I was at work, and called later in the day to make sure it would be ready to be picked up. When I arrived at the counter, I told the person working that I was there to pick up my car and gave my name. The man behind the person I was talking to snapped his head toward me and said smugly “Oh yes, Daddy called.”
If I hadn’t been caught so off guard, I probably would have asked to speak to a supervisor to let them know how rude the comment was. Not only did this person interject himself where he wasn’t needed, but he did so to push a misogynistic dig in my direction. As much as I love my father, the implication that I was some type of entitled “Daddy’s girl” left me so indignant that I still remember it 30 years later.
Media Construction
The idea that women are helpless, and in need of constant help or even oversight from their fathers or husbands is likely as old as time itself. There are even laws that exemplify the bias that a woman has no legal individual identity – such as the doctrine of Coverture, where a woman is not seen as having individual rights but is treated as the property of her father until she is married when she would then be absorbed into the identity of her husband.
While the term “Daddy’s girl” may not always be used to demean – referring to special affection between a father and a daughter; it carries with it the notion that the daughter is spoiled, often getting whatever she wants. Movies like the 90’s comedy Clueless epitomize the stereotype of the Daddy’s girl – a spoiled rich girl whose rich father allows her a privileged life of luxury.
There are also many examples of celebrities in the media that could be deemed daddy’s girls due to the privilege, notoriety, or influence that was inherited from father to daughter. One such example is Kim Kardashian, a self-described Daddy’s girl, who even has her own line of dad-themed merchandise. The actress Zoë Kravitz, daughter of famous musician Lenny Kravitz, also reportedly has a very close relationship with her dad.
When we see examples of famous or well-to-do daughters who inherited money or notoriety from their fathers, it’s easy to expect they have an advantage over those who don’t have famous or rich fathers. Likewise, any girl who is doted on by her father will have her father’s support when it’s needed.
Information, Context, and Bias
Whether it’s the celebrity daughter who gains some fame from her famous father, the rich daughter who starts a company with the resources available to her because of her dad, or the girl whose dad offers to drop her car off at the auto shop while she is at work; daddy’s girls do exist. But is the archetype of the daddy’s girl accurate or inaccurate? I would say both.
While no doubt someone who’s rich, or famous, or has a good father has an advantage over someone who may not, though those advantages are not specific to only fathers and daughters. Anyone who has the means would likely offer support to someone they care about whether they are a daughter, son, brother, or close friend. But this does not mean that the person receiving the support is helpless or incapable.
As in the case of my experience, the fact that I am a girl and my dad helped me doesn’t mean I am incapable. If I had been a boy would that person at the auto shop still have made the comment? I don’t believe the term daddy’s girl itself is derogatory, but when the insinuation plays into the misogynistic point of view that girls are less competent, as this person’s comment conveyed, that’s when it can be damaging.